When clowns attack: a guide to the scariest people on earth

"Coulrophobia - the fear of clowns - is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You'd be wrong. Clowns never reveal their real names and dress to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't appeal to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?) ... and their appearance is downright unnatural"--Publisher's description.;1. Assess. Why clowns frighten people -- The mental instability of clowns -- 2. Analyze. Types of clowns (Party; Circus ; Street ; Tramp or hobo ; Dunking booth clown; Cirque de Soleil 'clown') -- Clown anatomy (Hat; Wig; Face paint; Nose; Shoes; Oversized pants) -- Clown communication & lingo -- 3. Defend. Bozo hotspots -- Targets for attack -- When clowns attack -- Clown weapons -- Clown assault tactics -- How to defeat a clown -- Clown gangs -- How to escape a clown posse -- 4. Protect. Spotting the plainclothes clown -- Signs that clowns are nearby -- Protect your home -- Conclusion.